Asshole’s Log: Day 5

Traffic driving comment: Naked college girl ax-kicks a bear.

Things that you half want to hear: “Yes I’m pregnant, but don’t worry. It’s not yours; it’s your brothers.”

I like specialty stores. It is a tragedy that the economy is being raped by the giant penis that is Wal-Mart. I think we all need to consider opening unique specialty stores to combat the growing shadow of monopolization. I, for one, intend to start a feed store that sells only chum. I may not make much money, but damn it, you will know where to go for all of your chum needs. And it seems unlikely that Wal-Mart will try to tap into the chum market. Continue reading

Asshole’s Log: Day 1

Here is some bullshit that I was thinking of today.

Things you never want to hear said to you: “If it makes you feel any better, your mother was lousy in bed.”  Can’t think of any circumstance where that improves your day.

I had to tighten the screws on my bed frame today because it was getting all squeaky and that is pretty annoying. The screw had the cross top, or Phillips head, design. So I had to find a Phillips head screwdriver, which led me to ponder – how was this named? Who the hell is Phillips? And what kind of hellacious head deformity does he suffer from? Continue reading